Remembering my mum

I am a new year baby. I jokingly say I was born during a huge new year's fire work bu in fact I am a c-section baby! Fourty years ago c-section was not very common in Kerala and it was a nightmare for mothers due to the lack of success in c-sections. 

I hear that this is the most common surgical procedure in American hospitals: one in every three babies in the U.S. come into the world by c-section! Some mothers do not like to undergo the long delivery pain! I have no comments about it, I am a man.
My aunties remember that my mum had long labour pain and the doctor found that child's position is abreech (buttocks down) and suggested an immediate abortion to save her life. She disagreed and begged doctor for a c- section. She really wanted to see her first child. It was a play with life! 

Everyone who was in the hospital started praying, there were no telephones and cellphones available like today to send prayer requests but by the grace of God, the surgery was successful!
To reveal gender of a child before birth is prohibited by law in India there fore my mum did not know that the baby in her womb is a male. In later conversations with mum, I found that she excepted a baby girl, beinv a professional tailor, she stiched many dresses for a baby girl. I think I gave her a little disappointment! 
Every time when I hear about abortion I remember about my mum who had all the moral justification to kill me especially that situation and time. Every time when I celebrate events in my life, I remember her who permitted me to live on this beautiful World. Every time I see a picture of an aborted child, I thank my mum. I would like to line up my mum's name with Saint Gianna Beretta Molla (October 4, 1922 – April 28, 1962) an Italian pediatrician, wife and mother who is best known for refusing both an abortion and a hysterectomy when she was pregnant with her fourth child, despite knowing that continuing with the pregnancy could result in her death. She was canonised as a saint of the Catholic Church in 2004. I do not know if I can make this comment as a religious, if I go to heaven and if I do not see my mum there, I do not want that heaven! I think my mum is smiling from heaven seeing I write this.

I feel they are gone!

My grandpa was a Secular Franciscan, a dedicated catholic who attended daily mass.I spent most of my early childhood with him. My uncle remembers, I was very naughty and I had a double name "Bull",I feel sorry that I gave grandpa a hard time. May he rest in peace! He used to take me to the church,I did not know what is happening in the church but grandpa asked me to be silent and attentive, I did. I gradually learned what is the Holy Eucharist, what is the Church and who are the saints. I remember,he had a picture of St. Francis stepping on globe and stretching his hands to embrace Jesus, hanging in the common prayer room. I asked him one day, who is in the picture? Grandpa depicted who Francis was. I pictured Francis travelling on horse and on seeing a leper he lowering himself, hugging and kissing him. I saw Francis preaching to the birds, their eyes were so big and they were motionless. I saw Francis begging food and caring the lepers. All the stories admired me, I fell in love with his life. When I look back, I feel my grandpa must be the reason behind my vocation to the Franciscan life. He implanted a seed in my childhood and I am sure that he must be happy I am a Franciscan!
As we were celebrating epiphany, I attended Mass with the congregation. I do it sometimes to feel and celebrate Mass as one of them. A grandma was on the front seat with her grandson, he must be four years. I confess I was distracted. He was playing all the time with his toys, I noticed the toys are all soldiers, he fixed different weapons on the toys enjoying killing each soldiers. I thought that is not a fun game in the church where we preach about peace and love! When the pastor invited children from 4-10 years old to catechism, grandma did not send her grandson. I noticed she never explained to her grandson what is happening in the church or be attentive. I thought about my grandpa. The book of Deuteronomy says, “Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children's children"(Deut. 4/9). I am not intending here to judge the grandma but I wished to remind grandparents to look at my Grandpa and how he impacted me.
I too think this is a high time, grandparents should be aware of the duty to teach grandchildren about their faith, traditions and stories and to lead them to the light. The Holy Bible also understands that grandparents play an important part in the raising of grandchildren,"I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well"( 2 Timothy1/5). St. Paul praises grandparents for the great faith of Timothy. He reminds of the duty and responsibility of grandparents fostering faith in next generation.
I have seen many students love their grandparents, sometimes they speak of grandparents more than their parents. Grandparents are very important to many. They can create a great impact on the next generation more than they think. I wish that they do not forget this.
We had a time where we longed to hear stories from grandparents and sleep on their lap. We had a time where we wanted to rush to grandparents home for holidays. We had a time to be playful with them. I feel like they are gone!

B+ve

Do you know what's the blood group of Jesus? I think it is B+ve. Jesus saw everything very positive. He even transformed people thorough His positive attitudes.
We have many negative minded people around us. Their hearts are so darkened to see positive about anyone!and they hesitate to appreciate others. I think Nathaniel is from that category.
We had a man in our village who always saw things very negative. He had a double name; bitter George. A child was born to a couple after five years of their prayers, he commented, one more human being is born to this hell! Another time, an young man in the village graduated with colourful result and George asked where in this world is he going to get a job? Now you know why people called him "bitter George".
Nathaniel asks "Can anything good come from Nazareth?" Jesus faces Nathaniel's negative attitude with a positive stroke. Jesus says to him, "here is a true child of Israel. There is no duplicity in him". With this words his life changes, he sees in Jesus some one who appreciates him, feels loved and that makes him say "Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel"
Many times we try to face negative type of people with our negative attitudes, in reality it will only fuel the negativity because deep inside their mind these people are afraid and feel unlovable. It is our challenge to rise above the negative attitude and love this person and to understand that he is drowning in negativity and it is difficult for him or her to see the positive. Try to be patient, listen to him or her and make them feel that they are good and they are loved. May be a hug is great even if you get a negative reaction. It is sure when he or she is alone will begin to reflect on what you have said, that will make a great change.
I have friend in Malta whom I have not seen in ages. He was a drug addict and was imprisoned for couple of years. The reason for his transformation is a positive letter from his wife, she wrote to him, I love you Joe and your children need you. These lines made him change. He is a good father and a good husbend now. I would also like to add a story from Mother Theresa. One day she begged food but he spited on her face, she said, this is for me, give me something for my children. He never expected this kind of attitude and this positive strike transformed this man and later, his house was made as the house of poor.
Dear friends let us try to be positive and let us face negative attitudes with our positive attitudes. Let us become b+ve.

Your sins are forgiven

Voltaire, the well known French philosopher and writer had a stroke and facing death. He was a loose christian who wrote many thoughts against the dogmas of the Church. At his death bed he wanted to reconcile with the Church and asked his followers to send for a priest. But they hesitated to do it and he said to them, 'Begone! It is you that have brought me to my present condition'. He was in deep despair and screamed, ‘O, Christ! O, Lord Jesus!’ Then, turning his face, he would cry out, ‘I must die-abandoned of God and of men!’ Voltaire the man who wrote against religious dogmas knew that Jesus has the power to forgive sins!
“Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world"(Jn.1/29), this is the witness of John the Baptist. And this is the greatest witness and recognition of Jesus.
Jesus has the power to forgive sins. I do not think there is any other religious leader who said I forgive your sins. There are gurus who said go and purify yourselves in the river Ganges, make a pilgrimage or do penance. It is Jesus Christ who said to the woman who wet his feet with tears and wiped with hair in Simeon's house, "Your sins are forgiven"(Lk:7/48). Not only sins are forgiven but also forgiven without any judgement or accounting of sins.
Remember, Jesus says to the woman who was caught in adultery, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more (Jn. 8/11). Jesus forgives our sins without any judgement! That's the great privilege of those who know Christ. An young Hindu priest said why can't we have a confessional in the temple?
I read a confession of a converted murderer, he wrote, it was in the confessional that he burst out in tears for the first time in his life. He writes, after two hours of confession, he heard the old priest saying your sins are forgiven for a small penance. He could not but cry. Yes, that is Jesus the lamb of God who forgives our sins without any judgement and accounting.

One thing you haven't done!

“There is still one thing you haven’t done,” he told him. “Go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me"(Mk10:21). There is still one thing you haven't done! What is that one thing in our lives to follow Jesus? I think it needs a deep reflection to find out what is the one thing or many things. Jesus can be a reference point to find this out. Zaccaeus stood in front of this reference point, he felt like looking at a mirror, and found what he hasn't done. Zacchaeus said, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount"(Lk:19/8). He might had a deep reflection on the fig tree!
We use the terms attachment and detachment in the spiritual conversations. If you want to attach to God you may have to detach certain things. In the life of Elisha we read "he took his yoke off oxen and slaughtered them. He burned the plowing equipment to cook the meat and and gave it to the people, and they ate. Then set out to follow Elijah and became his attendant"(1kings 19/21). God told Abraham"Go from your country, your people and your father's household to the land I will show you"(Gen 12:1). Peter pulled his boat up on the shore, left everything and followed Jesus(Lk. 5/11).
Somebody asked a guru what is attachment? He said, attachment is the dance of our outer pleasure. Then he was asked what is detachment? Guru said, detachment is the song of our inner joy.
I remember the story of Sylvester, one of the first ten disciples of St. Francis of Assisi. When Bernard, a rich young man renounced everything and was giving up his wealth to the poor to follow Francis, Sylvester, was the parish priest of St. Ruffino, told him that he didn't receive proper value for the stones that he sold to Francis to build San Damiano. Francis gave him handful of money. That day he couldn't sleep, he fell in deep silence. That made him to be the disciple of Francis.
Let me invite you to have a deep reflection in front of the mirror, the reference point, Jesus to find what is the one thing that we haven't done.

I have a name

Recently I watched the movie "les miserables" I do not think somebody can watch the life of Jean Valjean without tears. Many lives have changed by this 1862 novel by Victor Hugo.
In the movie, Javert, the police officer calls Valjean by his number 24601. Valjean says, my name is Jean Valjean. I realised that having a name is a blessing and it is the name that separate us from another and make us unique. Have you ever thought how much time our parents spend to name us? And name is so important and precious to us. Personally speaking, I am so happy when somebody remembers my name and calls by name, I enjoy that moment. I hope you too.
Giving a number to a person is humiliation and that must be the reason Hitler tattooed numbers on the prisoners. It was to reject the identity of a person. It was as cruel as his persecution.
I like the bible words from Isaiah, "I have called you by name and you are mine"(43:1). It is the great comfort that we have not lost in the crowd. God knows each one by our name!
I remember a Malayalam short story "Radha Radha Mathram"by Mukundan. In the story a girl forgets her name and she undergoes great identity crisis which makes her breakdown. Dear friends, having a name is a blessing and more blessing it is to know that God knows us by name.

Wedding death

I like the poetries of Emily Dickinson, many of her poems deal with themes of death and immortality. In "the chariot" she depicts death as a beautiful and joyful wedding. In her words:
"Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality".
I read this poetry in the high school and I could never forget it. Don't you feel that this poetry is very Christian? Don't you think that death is a happy wedding for a Christian?The Psalmist sings: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me(23/4).
St. Francis of Assisi teaches how to die in peace and joy, he was so passionate about death, calls death " sister death"! He blessed bread, sung psalms and that was a beautiful goodbye to eternity saying: "welcome sister death"
Remember the first martyr of the Church, St. Stephen, he was stoned to death. Even in painful suffering, he sees divine visions and says "Look, I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God." (Acts 7:56).
Recently I visited a funeral home to pay homage to a grandpa of 36 grand children. He was peaceful in the coffin with a beautiful smile. I thought he must be a man who had a happy wedding with death and a journey to eternity.
When we think about death we should not leave the death of Jesus on the cross. I do not think there is anyone who has suffered like Jesus Christ. According to the study Jesus was scourged 39 times and each scourge will make 400 wounds. That means there was no place on Jesus' body without wounds, so painful, unimaginable suffering! In this suffering Jesus asks the Father why have you forsaken me? And there is no answer from the heaven and theologians call this as "aggressive silence". But Jesus dies peacefully, saying unto your hands I comment my spirit. What a beautiful death! A death, like a child falls into sleep!
When I share this, I am sure a couple of people are coming to your minds who had similar death experience. Yes, dear friends, death should be a moment celebration for Christians and it is a wedding and a journey to Jesus.